Thanksgiving of the mind

Thanksgiving is very much about gratitude, or at least it could be. For many of us it will be a challenge.

First let me acknowledge the complication of subjugated and marginalized indigenous people. The past trauma of their persecution has transmitted its familiar jinxes into fresh traumas lived today. That has to be acknowledged before it can be healed. And you’re an asshole if you can’t at least acknowledge that.

But don’t worry, meditation is for assholes, too. (note: great book idea: Meditation for A%#@oles)
And speaking of assholes, back to thanksgiving and what it means in current times to most.

Our family are our best and worst thing for us in terms of our mental health and sense of SELF. They have such power over us that the slightest ignorance can make us feel so small. And yet, without them we’d be nothing. And trust me, we’re better off with them than without.

The best medicine for family trouble, from a meditation standpoint, is the Loving Kindness meditation, or as we call ours, Absolute Love and Kindness. It’s a goto meditation for trauma therapy and a pillar of some kinds of Buddhist meditation systems. The idea is that we extend love and kindness to people, including those we're at with, and sincerely wish for them to be happy and well, such that we ourselves realign our relationship, taking some kind of high road or control.

In our practice, we often imagine before us someone with whom we’re quarreling (always on the menu at Thanksgiving, right?). We try to extend Absolute and sincere love to that person and imagine them receiving it and experiencing it.
It is a powerful exercise that often brings tears in class. And it has the added bonus of extending the same love and kindness to ourselves. Who couldn’t use more self-love and self-kindness?

So soon we’ll have 2 introductory meditations online, one of which will be our Absolute Love and Kindness meditation. For now, a simple googling will get you there. There are some good ones on YouTube. Most meditation apps have a Metta or Loving Kindness exercise. The Waking Up App (I can’t say enough good things about this app) has an entire section devoted to this practice.

My advice is to use this Absolute Love and Kindness, this Metta tool BEFORE, during, and after the holiday to keep yourself positively aligned with the people in your life in a way that keeps your SELF in charge and protected, but engages them in a positive way to balance out any….disagreements that might come up. 

Enjoy your time. Speak to your values and stand up to nonsense or injustice, and have keep a sense of humor if possible. May your Thanksgiving be something worthy of your gratitude. May it truly be filled with Absolute Love. And may you fill it with Absolute Kindness.


Love,
Jeff